Mind Eye's Season 4
by Just Chuck
Summary: Collection of short scenes of what the characters are thinking at the end of each season 4 ep, including the return of two reg O/C created by APR and Wep. Rated T because I those that know my writing are usually shocked by how bad it is!
1. Chuck vs the Anniversary

See disclaimers at the end of the chapter

1010101

Season 4 Episode 1

Chuck vs. the Anniversary

Ellie stared at the blue stripe on her one step pregnancy test that she left on the kitchen sink.

Smiling, she thinks, _"How Awesome is this. Oh crap how am I going to tell Daddy Awesome!"_

1010101010101

Casey exits the front door of Orion's house and sits on the step. He pulls out a cigar and lights it_. "Well, for better or worse, Team Moron is back."_

He then hears Morgan coming out and coughing at the cigar smoke._ "Correction…"_ Casey thinks_. "Team Moron and company."_ And he blows a smoke ring into the air.

Morgan waves the smoke away. Looking slightly green, he has a sudden smile that he immediately loses as he sits down next to Casey.

"You know, big guy, there might be a silver lining in all this."

Casey looks at him and grunts.

"I think I finally figured out the perfect sandwich for a deserted island…"

101010101010

Sitting on the edge of the desk, Chuck leans over and gives Sarah a quick kiss on the cheek_. "Oh crap. She's still upset because I lied."_

Sarah smiles but takes both his hands and makes Chuck look into her eyes._ "Oh Chuck, I do love you, but trust me or else you're cut off for a week,"_ he thinks leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips.

In the back of her mind, the Adorable Psycho part of Sarah Walker is wearing next to nothing, and lighting scented candles in her nerdified bedroom. She stops and shouted, "OH CRAP, NOT THIS WEEK!"

She then sat on the bed and groused, "And depending on how out of practice he is, not next week either."

Intersect 2.0, also known as Shadow, was running on the treadmill while watching the light in Sarah's eyes. "Man, is he out of shape." He pulls out an iPad and starts tapping. "iBooks, Relationship, Sexting. Here you go, buddy. Pace yourself."

10101010

Here you go, those what asked for my after thoughts on the series.

Someday I will do the whole series and republish them, but baby steps, since my best attempts to get caught up over the break failed terribly.

Usual Disclaimers, I own nothing, and make nothing off this. AP and Shadow belong to better fan fic writers than myself, and I use them hopefully I still have permission to use them (fingers crossed). If you think they are interesting, please browse for their stories.

And FYI – The next chapter of the other story is at the beta's and I will get it out as soon as I can.

If nothing I want to keep up to date on this one.


	2. Chuck vs the Suitcase

Season 4, Episode 2

Chuck vs. the Suitcase

1010101010

Casey finished field striping his weapon for the third time. In front of him, a picture that Morgan took of him and Alex just before the Shaw thing ended. He stopped. "_Do I want to put her in danger staying here..."_

10101010010

Morgan closed the side door to Jeffster's home away from home. As drunk as he was right now, the grip on the Buy More keys never wavered. He climbed into the front seat and rolled down the window and puked. "_Crap, what have these two been eating?"_

10101010

She went over to the kitchen and made herself some tea and decided it was time to ask Chuck to do whatever computer magic he does to put those pictures on the computer. Ellie walked out into the living room and looked at the puzzle she left on the table after supper_."#13, Coffee is to beans as Tea is to ..." _She looked in the mirror. "_Mom is to leaving as I am to staying,"_ and then looked toward the bedroom. "_Dad is to electronics as Devon is to exercise."_

1010101010

Chuck drifted off to sleep holding the love of his life in his arms. He fell asleep with the final thought, _"We really can be a family here..."_

Hours later, Sarah still stared at the open closet door and for the fiftieth time tonight she tried to put some distance between her and Chuck, only to have him pull her closer again. She took a cleansing breath "_Marriage and children... little Chuck is not going out without a raincoat..."_

1010101010

The Adorable Psycho paced around her bed, holding a picket sign with a picture of a raincoat with a red 'X' through it, obviously upset. Ever once and again, she stopped and screamed, "What the Crap? If we have a kid, he can never get rid of me. NO MORE COATS! NO MORE COATS!"

1010101010

Over in the area of Chuck's brain that Shadow, AKA the Intersect made his home, he too was pacing up and down the aisle of books that contained all his knowledge.

Finally, he sat down on the floor at the end of the last bookcase. "Sorry buddy, I got a lot of stuff, but nothing that allows me to figure out women. But I still think you stepped in it and I can't help you out of this one."

989899898

Hi All

Here is the quick thoughts at the end of epi 2. Will not get a chance to watch epi 3 until late Wednesday, but from what I heard WHOOO HOOO!

Usual disclaimers apply. I own nothing.

Please take time to review whatever you read here. And thank you jagged1 for the beta. (Remember - don't freak out!)


	3. Chuck vs the Cubic Z

A/N at end of chapter

Chuck vs the Cubic Z

10101010

Chuck got up out of bed and quietly slipped out of room and sat down in the living room, powering up his X-box

After the third time he respawned, he threw the controller down and looked at the picture on the table of Sarah.

"_Who am I kidding? It took her months to empty her suitcase. Marriage… that might be years off. "_

Then he smiled. _"Maybe I could photoshop what our kids would look like?"_

10101010

Sarah waited until the door had closed before she opened her eyes. She had relived the memory of Chuck on one knee about a thousand times since it happened.

She turned over and hugged the pillow. "Samantha Lisa Bartowski…Sarah Lisa Bartowski. Yeah Agent Sarah Lisa Bartowski."

She giggled into the pillow "Crap, Carina will totally freak."

10101010

Shadow started typing away on the Ipad, and suddenly Chuck in a tux and Sarah in a large wedding dress appeared on the screen in front of him.

"Hummmm, nope, not quite right…" Shadow hits more buttons and the images are replaced by Chuck dressed as Superman and Sarah as Wonder Woman.

"Now that's how they should be married."

10101010

The Adorable Psycho wore a tight fitting white dress and paced back and forth, hitting her bouquet on various objects while she ranted, "You could have grabbed him and gone to Vegas! Come on, we could have been having 'wedding night sex', to come after 'doing it in the parking lot' sex, and in the 'limo on the way to the ceremony sex' and 'from the ceremony sex', and …"

101010

A/N

Sorry to be delayed on this one. And no I have not seen this week's yet. Just been a bit of a very long week last week.

Hoping to see this week's today and have something out soon.

Thanks as always to jagged1 for her awesome beta work!


	4. Chuck vs the Coup d'Etat

Season 4 Ep 4

Chuck vs the Coup d'Etat

10101010101010101010

_Chuck was lying in bed when he heard "Chuck"_

_He opened up his eyes and heard it again. "Chuck"_

_Looking down, the love of his life was at the end of his bed, dressed in a beautiful nighty, massaging his feet. The feeling of deja vu came back to him._

"_OH crap, Sarah, I know this is a dream, and we've been here before so please please say there is not a large knife behind your back."_

"_Chuck," Sarah spoke. "This is not a dream, this is foreshadowing." And she held up her hand with a wedding ring proudly displayed._

The real Chuck, sound asleep in bed smiled a smile that would last all night long, because in his dream Sarah showed him how she said 'yes'.

101010101

Sarah turned over in bed and closed her eyes, the smile coming to her face again. She felt really good telling him that. It had been all she had been thinking about since he had been down on one knee in front of her. Chuck was right; communication was going to be harder than she thought, but maybe more of these late night chats would help.

10101010

Even though Chuck was sound asleep, Shadow never slept. The Intersect paced back and forth, absorbing the whole conversation that Sarah had.

It was then that the Intersect decided that he had to start taking an active role in making his host happy. He thought that the dream he was currently having was a good place to start.

If Shadow had learned anything, it was that he was more productive without the more emotionally constipated internal monologue of Chuck's when he was upset over something with Sarah. It was so annoying in fact, that it was the only thing that made him hide in his Tardis (or box) , and he hated being in the box.

"Time to tweek the dream centers.."

1010101

Inside Sarah's brain, the Adorable Psycho was so happy she was vibrating. Already she was planning the wedding night.

_Dear Diary._

_Today, the host that tries to keep me boxed up made a startling revelation. She is ready to totally take the hunky nerd every day, in every way, using multiple techniques._

_She then looked up at the hundreds of pictures of Chuck all over the wall ( what she called her Nerd Heaven)._

_And starting scribbling in the margins._

_Wedding night supplies_

_Condoms – at least 1000_

_(She paused at that then scratched it out "What was I thinking… More reason to lay claim to my man)_

_Water – 20 cases_

_Protein shakes – sex umm six or seven cases _

_Vitamin's – Flintstone (gotta have bam bam)_

_Pizza delivery on set schedule._

_Handcuffs_

_Whisk_

_Egg beater_

_Wet celery._

…

_10101010_

_Thanks to jagged1 for the awesome bata, and Medic Gone Mad for winning the bet and having put in the Bam Bam reference. (She made me put this in too)._

_Usual disclaimer applies._


	5. Chuck vs the Couch Lock

S4E5

Chuck vs. the Couch Lock

101010

A/N

see note at bottom of story

1010101

Chuck held the phone to his ear. So many emotions were going through his mind that it was almost like he was flashing.

Memories of Halloween, Christmas, family vacations and yes, many night time stories about the frost queen flooded his brain.

However, all he could get out was, "Mom?"

101010

Sarah left the washroom and she was going to go back to Chuck when she spotted Casey stalking Morgan and Alex into the living room.

Sarah smiled. It was easy to read their minds.

Alex and Morgan seated were on the couch . Sarah saw Alex suddenly looked confused when Morgan seemed to go white as a ghost.

Casey grunted softly, pointing at both his eyes and then at Morgan, and made a choking motion.

She turned to head over to calm Casey when what Chuck would call her 'spidey sense' went off. She turned and went to the window and looked out at 'her Chuck.'

"_Oh Chuck, he's upset. Who is on that phone?"_

101010101010

Shadow with two pillows, duct taped to his head, ran from one end of the stacks to the other.

Grabbing the sides of his head, he screamed, "I HATE HOME MOVIES THE FIRST, SECOND AND DEFINITELY THE HUNDRETH TIME AROUND!"

Running into his blue box and he slammed the door. Not even a minute later he came out with what looked like a big red button. Written on it, in huge white letters: 'DON'T PANIC'.

"Douglas Adams, I hope this works!" Shadow crossed his fingers.

He pressed it.

10101010101001

The Adorable Psycho, wearing a small two piece bikini, started pulling items such as an AK-47, various tranq darts and a bow and arrow from under her bed and started to strap on a bullet proof wedding veil.

"HEY BLONDIE, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH OUR MAN. GET YOU KICK BUTT NINJA SELF OUT THERE AND PROTECT HIM!"

She picked up the AK47, her hair and floor length wedding veil swayed in the breeze that just somehow just appeared out of no where. She looked at herself in the mirror "Darn, I'm hot _**and**_ horny! Come take me now Baby!"

10101010

_FLASHBACK_

_June 2006_

_Jeff blinked as he opened his eyes and realized he was face down in a bag of garbage. He once again had no idea where he was. So with an ease that can only be gotten with practice, he started going down the morning checklist._

"_Head – Check"_

"_Hangover - Check"_

"_Arms, – Check"_

"_Only two arms – Check"_

"_Shirt - Check"_

"_Pants – Oh crap"_

"_Underwear – Double Crap"_

"_Hey what'z this hairy growth on my butt. Gross it's drooling …Hey it's Lester. My butt is not a pillow, or is it?"_

_An hour later, Jeff and Lester are leaning against the dumpster, newspaper transformed into two diapers to cover themselves._

"_Any idea who wrote that on our…" Jeff didn't look at Lester._

"_JEFFREY – Never speak of this again, got it!" Lester turned away from his friend._

"_Yeah, but I will never forget." Jeff, with Lester's' help, got up and they staggered off._

_101010101_

_A/N_

_Sorry guys and gals. I had a really hard time getting this to work. Still not crazy about it, but since the next epi showed last night (come on Itunes post it so I can watch) I put this up._

_Thanks to Jagged1 for the beta and trying to figure out what to do to improve it._

_See previous chapters for the disclaimers. Remember to review everything you read on this site, or I'll send a 8X10 of Jeffster in the dumpster to your home to scar you for life._


	6. Chuck vs the Aisle of Terror

Chuck vs the Aisle of Terror

1010101

A/N at the end!

10101010

Ellie Woodcomb just nodded as the waiter placed the cup of herbal tea in front of her.

"_She was a spy. What is it that makes my family so willing to throw their lives away for… what. Dad, Chuck, Sarah and now Mom are or were spies. Am I the only one in the family that wants a nice safe spy free life?"_

She rubbed her tummy _"Mom, please, give me five minutes. Please come tell me why I am so different?"_

Chuck said thank you for his coffee calmly, even though he knew by watching his sister that she was silently freaking out. Chuck knew that a million things must be going around in her head. Only there were about ten million running through his right now.

"_Ok, what do I know. Sarah loves me, she is trying to protect me, but Mom would never hurt me. She is my Mom; she is supposed to love me, isn't she? OK, yes granted, she shot me in the chest, and yes I've got to admit, it hurt like heck, but she had a really really good reason. Of course, Sarah did say that she was protecting my blind spot, and I know that I have a blind spot here. And she is my leggie Valkyrie that can do incredible things with those legs. But is that the point here now? Sarah and I have had some really crazy ups and downs. Can't I and my mom have the same sort of wild and crazy ride.."_

10101010

Sarah leaned back against the van wall and watched the unconscious form of the woman who will someday be her mother-in-law lying at her feet, a tranq dart in her back.

"Crap, you deserve this for what you did to Chuck." Sarah raised her pistol and shot her six times, "And this is for what you did to Ellie." And she emptied the rest of the clip.

The van came to a stop and the side door opened. Casey climbed in, holding his sniper rifle and noticed the darts had made a perfect pattern of a sad face in their prisoners butt. He looked at the the gun in Sarah's hand and grunted.

"Walker, you have issues, you know this right?" Casey slammed the door, reached in and handed her another clip.

Grabbing the clip, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a cell phone. She started scrolling down the list and put the phone to her ear.

"Hi Dad, its Sam."

"No, no I'm not. Listen can you do something for me."

"Can you tell me about Mom?"

101010101010

Shadow was looking through the stacks and stacks of information that he had at his disposal and all the while he was pressing a 'Don't Panic' button.

Finally he pulled out Dr. Fred's book, "642 Steps to Deal with a Crazy Pregnant Sister" and started looking in the index.

"Mommy-to-be has mommy issues. Ok, here we go and this number one rated book says, 'You are on your own'. Oh Crap!"

101010101

The Adorable Psycho was still dressed in a two piece swim suit, a bullet proof wedding veil and carrying an AK-47. She looked out the eye ball shaped window at the woman on the ground.

"HA – GOT YOU. NO ONE UPSETS MY MAN WITHOUT HAVING TO DEAL WITH ME!"

She turned around and looked at the nerd temple on the wall. "As much as I love you snoodlekins, no one is taking one itty bity bit of your love but me, and that includes some bad ass mommie. Well if it's a fight she wants, Mommie, meet the main bad ass in his life. Bring it on!"

10101010

Jeff watched as Lester joined him in the main room of the Aisle of Terror. With a nod, Jeff picked up the mic.

"Jeff, it's cued to slide 5," and Lester started the sound effects.

Jeff put the Mic to his lips and looked at the screen. "BABIES IN COSTUMES"

The slide changed and Jeff's eyes got wide. "AUGGGGGGGGG" and he ran out the door, knocking Lester over.

"Jeffrey what.. AUGGGGGGG" and he followed Jeff.

On the screen was a super cute beagle pup, with Santa hat and a smily faced cookie in its mouth. The tag on his collar read 'CASEY'

10101010

**_Darkness falls across the band_**

**_The appointed hour is close at hand_**

**_Creatures crawl in search of booze_**

**_To terrorize you while you snooze_**

**_And whosoever shall be found_**

**_Witnessing the green shirts getting down_**

**_Must stand and face the Fist of Casey_**

**_Or rot inside the van of lazy_**

**_The foulest stench is in the air_**

**_The funk of forty thousand poo's_**

**_And squeaky hinges from every bathroom_**

**_Are closing in to seal the fumes_**

**_And though you fight to stay awake_**

**_Your body starts to whimper_**

**_For no mere nerd can resist_**

**_The music of THE JEFFSTER!_**

**_Wha ha ha_**

10101010

A/N

Usual disclaimers apply. My apologies for the Nerd Version of Mr. Jacksons version of Thriller. It just seemed to work.

I got a review and a couple of PM's about who AP and Shadow are. For that look up Wepdiggy and Armidillo's stories. Research – yum!

As for the beagle, that's one of mine. We now know who won the cookie battle from last Christmas. :)

Thank you Jagged1 for the beta, and the peptalk. (If more good stuff is coming your way, thank her). Also the Jeffster at the end was added after the beta. So if it does not make sence, blame me.

Finally please remember to review this and anything else you read on the site.

Remember the trick for this weekend is to find time to treat yourself to a Chuck-a-thon! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

JC


	7. Chuck vs the First Fight

Chuck vs. the First Fight

S4E7

1010101010

Casey finally had enough and he walked out of Bartowski's apartment.

He knew Sarah would be a little P'Oed when she came back from Ellie's after Chuck insisted she had Ellie examine her after the whack on the head she had received earlier that day. But hey, it was technically an accident.

He was tasked with watching the nerd. However, watching him go around and try to get Casey to hit him so that he could flash was annoying. But insulting Reagan? That's where he drew the line. And the troll had to laugh at it.

"_Darn, why did the moron have to try a jump kick just then?"_

Getting into the Crown Vic, he made his way back to the safety of Castle.

_"Yeah, right, accident. Walker will never buy that."_

101010101

Ellie kicked herself just as soon as Sarah left.

"_Baby batter on the Brain, I forgot to tell her about the car. Oh crap. I guess I'll tell them both in the morning."_

And with that, she joined her husband getting ready for bed.

1010101010

Sarah walked into her apartment and heard screaming coming from the bedroom.

Pulling her gun, she made her way in and kicked open the door.

"Oh crap," was all she could say and then she dropped her gun and closed the door. Grabbing two pills that Ellie gave her, she took them dry.

She waited by the door for a second, then shook her head, grabbed the spare pillow and blanket out of the hall closet and headed for the couch.

"_CASEY, WHAT THE CRAP!_ _No, no, no noooooooooo." _Sarah tuned her head opened it again before she quickly shut it again._" Oh Crap, Chuck was right. I never should have installed the hook for the punching bag in the bedroom". _This repeatedly was going through her mind as she shut out the cries coming from the bedroom.

10101010

From behind the door, Morgan Grimes was screaming for Sarah to come rescue him.

If Sarah had stopped at the door a while longer, she would have heard this:

"Okay, Chuck, it looks like your leggie valkyrie with an aversion to clothing is not going to help us."

(Weird noises, much like chains rattling, are heard)

"So, let's take a step back here, Chuck. We were in the living room with Casey; you made an awesome joke to try to get Casey to help you flash. There was a grunt, and a few fists flying, and then Casey pulled out his tranq and shot us."

(Again chain rattling)

"And now we are here. Just great."

1010101010

Behind another door, sat the human form of the Intersect 2.0. Shadow as he is called can do a great number of things. He can upload almost any form of hand to hand combat to Chuck; he can have him speak several languages. He can even turn him into a master chief at a nano-seconds notice.

However all he could do at the moment wasn't much.

"CHUCK, buddy. Hello? Can anyone here me? I ran out of t-paper while doing a data dump. Chuck! CHUCK! Come on, man, I have a virus or something. This thing has given me a serious case of the RUNS command."

1010101010

The adorable psycho re-ran the memory of what Sarah saw over and over again. Each time she got more and more angry.

"OH CRAP NOOOOO. CASEY, YOU ARE LIVING ON BORROWED TIME. NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY MAN BUT MAYBE ME!"

The main hunk of her life was face up on their bed, with three tranq darts stuck in what she considered HER domain only.

"MOVE IT BLONDIE! GET BACK IN THERE! OUT MAN NEEDS A FULL BODY EXAM RIGHT NOW. TROLL CAN"T COMPLAIN IF YOU KNOCK HIM UNCONSCIOUS!" she screamed and started putting on her nurses' outfit and snapping on a pair of exam gloves.

Just like Sarah, AP ignored the site of Morgan, upside down, only wearing a thong, tied up in chains hanging off the hook meant for her punching bag- screaming for Sarah to let him down .

10101010101010

A/N

Usual disclaimers apply. Thanks to Jagged1 for the Beta.

Must be hitting a dry spot because I had to watch it four times to get me to come up with something. Maybe with a week off I can recharge. I'm a little behind on the other stories as well, but I think I got all the reviews answered. If I missed anyone, please send me a PM and I appologize now.

Please review this, and anything you read here!


	8. Chuck vs the Fear of Death

A/N at the end:

1010101010101

"Chuck vs. the Fear of Death"

Casey and Morgan walked out of Sarah's room. Neither needed to say anything. Only one nod between them indicated that they even acknowledged each other presence.

Morgan sat down at the secure laptop that Chuck had borrowed from the CIA and started banging away on it like a mad furry monkey, hoping that instead of Shakespeare, he would find his captured friend.

Casey started calling numbers in his little black book. One thing was for sure; his time with the worst scum of the earth gave him more than a few off the book places to start the search.

1010101010

Inside their bedroom, Sarah had added her spare throwing knives into the backpack when she caught her image in the mirror.

She stared at the face staring back at her, not sure if she recognized it anymore. The wild glint that she usually saw when she thought Chuck and bed seemed oddly extinguished.

10101010101

In an unknown tropical location, Chuck watched the needle as it went into his arm. Even before he felt the burning liquid traveling up his veins, the area around him seemed to blur.

Looking around, he thought he saw an angel outside the window with a wedding veil over her golden hair and the sword of a Valkyrie, hugging the side of her perfect body. She was crying openly, but with a mad glint in her eyes. The same glint he saw with Sarah each time they made love. It both scared him and made him feel somehow happily drained at the same time.

The Belgian will always wonder why Chuck whimpered and smiled before just before he went under.

Just before the light went out, Chuck thought he heard a voice

"Hey Chuck, mind passing the punch cards? Whatever your mom gave me is still giving me the runs command"

101010101010

A/N Time!

First of all, usual disclaimers apply. Make no money, all characters belong to others. See previous chapters for the list.

Ok, sorry writing anything I like lately has been a task and a half and I want to publish my usual type of crap. I'm working on a couple of side projects that I started. Just to experiment. I'm not planning to leave so no worries there. With my upcoming 'retirement' due to my back issues, I can't expect the delay's that have happily kept me extended to last forever.

Anyways thanks to jagged1 who through the holidays and a nasty flu bug got around to do the usual awesome job on this.

For those wondering, the next chapter of CA, I am just one paragraph from finishing it, and will send it out to be checked, and the last of the remaining shows that have been shown I am working on the rewrites. So I hope to have them all out soon.

One last thing, WHO ARE YOU CHALLENGE II is currently out there, and yes I have something in it. Please take a look.

If you enjoy anything you read on this site, please leave a review. Good or bad, they are welcomed by most writers I think.

Just Chuck.


	9. Chuck vs Phase Three

"Chuck vs. Phase Three" S4E9

Casey sat down with his scotch and his bonsai tree.

While the colonel called the latest side of Sarah's personality the "un-adorable psycho" it had the unfortunate side effect of his home becoming infested with a bearded freak so there would be no more unfortunate knives incidents when he said the wrong thing around this version of Walker. Well, that was finally over and the rescued Chuck heart warmed Walker into herself again. Thank Reagan.

He sighed. Other than that, and the great amounts of paperwork and hours to get rid of the body if Walker actually _did _do something in her crazy as a loon state, Morgan did provide the key that helped rescue the nerd.

"_Grunt – I guess a couple of days of hiding out here won't have caused any permanent damage."_

He finished the bottle and got up to grab another from the cabinet. As soon as he opened the door, dozens of empty grape soda cans tumbled out onto the floor.

"_Grunt – how many cans of that purple junk can he drink in one day?"_

1010101010

Morgan looked back at the Nerd Herd desk where his twin from another mother was stopping Jeff and Lester from recording the latest installment of their Mammary Cam Direct to DVD specials.

He walked through his office door and sat at his computer and started pounding away on the keyboard. _"Well buddy, this will be the best proposal ever. If for no other reason, I know how scary-psycho your soon to be wife can be."_

_1010101010_

Chuck returned to the cage and put the newly made Jeffster production into the shredder he kept there for just such occasions.

He looked around and saw the picture of Sarah that he had snapped in her Weinerlicious outfit and usually attached to his monitor walking by. To be more specific, somehow it had been blown up life size and was being quickly ushered into Jeff's office by small quick Lester feet.

Shaking his head and grabbing a pair of gloves, he took a deep breath. _"Next mission, rescue the image of my partner from the forces of creepy."_

_10101001010_

Sarah sipped her double berry energy drink and she watched Chuck through the monitors in Castle. She had a ton of paperwork to do to explain why she had to have a CIA cleaner team in to clean up pee stains and repair / replace several items that had knives embedded in various objects at home. What she wanted to be doing was to be next to her Chuck, holding his hand and other things…

Sarah shook her head. _"I know I'm glad to see him, and honestly the three times on the plane back was very, very relaxing, but why can't I get my thoughts of him covered in me out of my head?"_

In the back of her mind, the entity known as the Adorable Psycho was dressed in a tight nurse's outfit and screamed "BECAUSE I WANT TO PLOW HIM 24 SEVEN THAT'S WHY! NOW PUT DOWN THE BORING STUFF AND GET HIM DOWN HER AND CHECK HIS VITALS THE OLD FASHION WAY!

10101010101010

The Intersect in human form. Also known as Shadow, dressed in a long brown housecoat and wrapped in a scarf longer than two times his height, made his way from the bathroom in his bright blue box that Chuck kept in the corner of his brain. Staggering along the hallway, his Tron like body glowed dimmer than ever. He entered the bedroom, collapsed into the Serenity shaped bed and pulled the Star Wars sheet over his head.

"If that was Chuck's mothers cooking that made me this sick, then I'm not to go there for Christmas dinner."

1010101010

A/N

Ok, Attempting to play catch up. Next episode will be up hopefully before the new Chuck comes out.

And if you have a chance, try to figure out my entry in the Who Are You Challenge II.

Usual disclaimers apply. Usual thanks to Jagged1, Greyden13 and DocInOZ for their input and support getting me over this rut.

JC


	10. Chuck vs the Leftovers

"Chuck vs. the Leftovers"

Casey knew he had to leave as soon as he saw the crazy glint in Sarah's eyes and the smile she was giving the kung fu nerd had it's full effect on said nerd.

"Well, I'll put that laptop into a secure locker. If you'll excuse me."

Not waiting for an answer that he knows he will never get. He put away the laptop and turned off all the cameras and sound recording equiptment in Castle. Just to be on the safe side. He made his way up the stairs, putting a make shife do not disturbe sign on the closet door, and walked over to the Buy More baboon's office.

"Morgan, taking the afternoon off. Chuck and Sarah are in Castle and I need to be elsewhere. For your sake, I would stay clear for the next hour or so."

Not waiting for an answer again, he walked out the main Buy More double door's to the Crown Vic. He was sure of one thing. If Walker's sexercise program didn't kill Bartowski, then he would have the strongest cardio vascular system of any agent anywhere.

1010101010

Morgan sighed as he sat back down after Casey completely ignored his request to come over to his place. He picked up the phone and hit 'speed dial #1' "Hi Alex, hey it's me, Morgan. You know, that's great, perfect actually. Why am I calling? Ummmm what are you doing for supper tonight. Interested in Mexican?"

1010101010

Devon was minding his own business, walking across the courtyard, holding two bags of groceries that his wife's sudden pickle and peanut butter sandwich craving emergency had precipitated.

He never saw the two attackers come up behind him until it was too late.

Two arms wrapped around him and placed him into a bone crushing hug "Awesome, Thank you thank you thank you." Being suddenly released, he spun around into the arms of two equally strong but much more slender arms of a blonde blur who then repeated the process.

Then it was over. Face down in front of the fountain he held his breath. The slam of his old apartment door was the only sound being made. He looked around into the earie silence. Finding the object of his search, he released the breath and turned to the cat ,"Downey" ,that was always hanging around his and Casey's door for the last few months.

"Hey, did you get the number of the spies that hit me?" and rose and looked down at his shirt, now covered in peanut butter, pickle juice and squished bread just as the door of his apartment opened.

"Devon, oh crap. I can't eat that, go grab some more, and add butterscotch ice cream. Thanks sweetheart." Ellie blew him a kiss as she closed the door.

10101010101010

Daylight started hitting LA and Chuck snuggled up against the shadow that molded herself to him.

He smiled. _"I love my life now." _Closing his eyes with the intent to drift off to sleep, he felt a long line of kisses and heard a soft suggestion whispered into his ear.

Sarah pulled Chuck over and thought as she stoked the side of his face. "_I love you, my life with you and I never want to stop showing you how much I love you."_

1010101010

"Yes, He CAN do it for a fourth time!"

The adorable psycho, dressed in her cheerleading outfit jumped up and down clapping all over the room.

"WOOO HOO I LOVE MY MAN. I LOVE MY MAN!" She started dancing around the room singing at the top of her voice.

10101010

Shadow groaned and started towards the glowing book on the pedestal. Unlike previous trips, now he was surrounded by rows and rows of more glowing books.

Closing his eyes, he flipped the book open and pointed to a page.

"Here you go buddy, enjoy."

Closing the book he walked out of the room and collapsed on the couch and started laughing.

"Honestly 1800 versions of the Karma Sutra in that last download. Daddy Bartowski really wanted his son to keep his girl happy."

10101010101

A/N

usual disclaimers apply

Thanks to DocinOz, Jagged1 and Grayden13 for their input.

If you read this, they I know you want to hit the review button each time it comes up, for whatever story you are look at and give the autor your two cents worth


	11. Chuck vs the Balcony

Ep 4.11 Chuck vs. the Balcony

Casey watched from the monitors as Walker was led into the secure vehicle.

"_Walker, I don't know what game you're playing, but this has black ops written all over it. Be careful partner."_

101010101010

Morgan paced back and forth in their living room. Since Casey insisted that he leave Castle or the likelihood of his boot entering the hind quarters of the 'Buy Morian baboon' was closer than he was with grape soda, he left.

He knew there had to be a mistake. Sarah was in no way a double agent. She was not a female version of Darth Vader. She was Chuck's third half and there was no way any half of Chuck was going to the dark side of the force.

Grabbing his laptop, he started again on the keyboard. His mission, prove that Sarah was not evil!

1010101010

Chuck slumped down on the bench that Sarah had just vacated. In his hand was the box containing the ring that he so wanted to not be there, but on her finger.

His mind reeling with the events of the last couple of minutes: thinking it was a misunderstanding that would be corrected when the General got there, the gut wrenching sight of his blonde angel taken away in shackles…

He did the only thing he could do; he let the tears flow freely.

1010101010

Sarah and her guards turned the corner and waited for the elevator door to open. Sarah's heart felt like it was breaking, knowing what Chuck was thinking. That she was never coming back.

When the door opened, she was pushed inside. One lone tear escaped as the door slid shut.

When the door opened again, the tear was wiped away, and the ice cold look of Agent Sarah Lisa Walker had returned.

101010101010

Shadow had dozen of screens floating in mid air. Some had video of the exchange last night, some had the moonlight and the sunset of the balcony in France, others had documents upon documents flashing different pages.

Throwing his hands up in the air, Shadow went over and sat in his usual seat.

"Chuck, buddy, I hate to tell you , but this reeks of black ops. First the giant blond she-male to get us back and now she wants to take down one of the biggest criminal organizations just for you to be happy. Maybe I better stick to the low end of the Karma Sutra pool. So far we have been sticking to the middle ground. I hate to see what she would do for you when you do the "For Experts Only sections" you were saving for the wedding night."

101010101010

The Adorable Psycho (AKA AP) was pounding on the door of her room.

"OH CRAP! WHO LOCKED THIS DOOR? WHO IS OUT THERE? LET ME OUT, I NEED TO BE WITH MY MAN OR ELSE THERE WILL BE …"

The door flew open and a brunette version of Sarah dressed all in black leather stood barring the way.

"Or what, you love sick psycho? Get this straight, right now, he needs me, so you can go stay in your room until the job is finished and I can go back to my room and put my feet up and relax again, got it?"

The AP goes nose to nose with the one she had not seen in ages. The one created by all the spy training, the one that never let her have any fun, the one she called the Agent Impossible (AKA AI). And she stuck her tongue out at her.

AI shook her head at AP and then pushed her back into the room and slammed and bolted the door.

"Now I'm back and I'm ready to kick some Voldermont err I mean Volkolf butt."

She looked at mirror with the taped picture of Chuck hanging on AP's door. Looking at her new black hair reflected back at her, she reached up and placed a small kiss on the image of Chuck. "For you honey, always for you now."

10110101010

A/N

Usual disclaimers apply. See previous chapters.

Yes I introduced a new character, sue me.

Thanks for the quick beta by jagged1.

If you enjoyed anything here, please take time to send the author a review.

Thanks

JC


	12. Chuck vs the Gobbler

4x12

Chuck vs the Gobbler

A/N notes at the end. Disclaimers at the first chapter.

10101010101

Chuck looked down at his phone and then looked back to Casey lying in the hospital bed.

All that was going through his mind over and over again was, "Oh crap, not again."

1010101010

Sarah took a deep breath and wiped away the single tear before she had a chance to escape and tell Volcoff that this whole thing was fake. She watched as Mary returned with two drinks and placed both in front of her before walking to the back of the plane.

Staring at the reflection in the airplane window, she closed her eyes at whatever she was becoming.

Sarah made herself a silent wish that Chuck would save her again soon.

1010101010

The Adorable Psycho was wearing a white monk's robe and knelt in front of the wall full of various 'Chuck' pictures.

After a moment she rose and dropped the robe revealing a red Teddy with angle wings.

She clapped twice.

The light dimmed and she turned towards the candle lit bed where there was a full body pillow wearing a nerd herd uniform.

A second later, a mass of flying blonde hair was on top of the pillow.

1010101010

Walking outside AP's door on the way to work out some aggression from the last assignment, the part of Sarah that was the job paused to listen to the heart wrenching sobs coming from the other side.

"I WANT MY CHUCK!"

The one called Agent Impossible wiped away a single tear before she took her feelings and locked them away...

..again

1010101010

Shadow paced up and down the stacks of books. Coming to a very dusty section, he grabbed one unusually large tome and flipped to a random page.

Groaning, he held the heavy book over his head and slammed it down on his right foot.

Putting his fist in his mouth to muffle the scream with one hand, he reached down and rubbed his foot with the other. After several minutes, Shadow then reached down and replaced the book 1,000,000 Ways to Lessen Heartbreak.

010101010101

A/N

Hi.

Fooled you! and it's not even April 1st.

Nope it's not the crappy one.

I'm giving JC a hand posting stuff because he is feeling bad at not getting anything out.

Anyways, he asked me to put this in the A/N

-MGM (Medic Gone Mad)

1010101010

Life sucks sometimes, and there is only one thing to do, and that's deal with what life gives you.

So yeah that means I'm not doing so hot but I am still working on everything and will see about putting stuff out when I can.

As always please review whatever you read on the site. I will try to reply to everyone but don't be surprised if it takes several days to get back to you. I asked Medic Gone Mad to post some of my backlog for me. Thanks MGM

And I know I never say it enough, that's jagged1 for all the help she has give me on these stories, and hopefully the ones to come.

One day I really need to buy her a bottle of wine.

Later all!

-JC


	13. Chuck vs the Push Mix

4.13

A/N at the end

**Chuck vs the Push** **Mix**

Chuck opened his eyes as his fiancée snuggled closer to him.

After spending the night celebrating the fact that she said yes, he could not feel more content.

_"How did I ever live before you,"_ he thought as he smiled and kissed the top of her head. He closed his eyes.

101010101

Sarah opened her eyes and glanced at the ring on her finger. She snuggled closer and felt a kiss and the glow of the heartwarming Bartowski smile come over her.

She leaned up and kissed him and smiled as the kiss was deepened and his body reacted.

_"Five - really. Oh, Chuck me!" _ she said as her eyes closed and she gave in to the pleasure that she knew as her fiancée.

1010101010101

Agent Impossible had had enough. She took the pillow she had over her head and after grabbing the baseball bat from her weapons cache, she ran into the hallway and hit the door several times

"I can live with the moaning, I can live with the bed knocking, but if you don't stop playing that ]%{^{+ Jeffster music I will cut something off your boy toy!"

1010101010101

The Adorable Psycho, however, was paying no attention to the crazy person at the door; she was way too busy whispering instructions - new pages of the Karma Psycho into someone's ears..

1010101010101

Shadow was pacing in front of several floating screens in front of him.

"Right leg 30 degrees left ... Mark"

He sighed. Karma Sutra with Sarah quite often involved invoking the automated defend mechanism just to keep Chuck out of traction.

1010110101010

She dared not open her eyes.

The sounds terrified her. She remembered that she screamed, and thankfully it had stopped.

But now she could not get it out of her head.

She screamed into the night again. The screams were picked up by all in the building.

"Whaaaaaa!"

Or translated to English:

"Jeffster!"

10101010

It's Megan again (AKA Medic Gone Mad)

I have an apology to make, JC forwarded me two chapters and I missed this one since there was a few files on different things.

I got a couple of PM's about JC. Just to make it clear since there seems to be some confusion I'm not checking his e-mail, just posting what he sends me when he is able.

So those who pm'ed him, it will probably be the weekend or early next week before he gets a chance to reply. As for what's up, I'll leave that to him to explain. He's not answering my e-mails either, but I live 10 minutes away so that's how I'm getting my info. I bring him coffee once a week :)


	14. Chuck vs the Seduction Impossible

Chuck vs. the Seduction Impossible

1010101010

Chuck slowly drifted off to sleep. He knew Sarah was more than a little upset over the wedding. It was then and there Chuck decided that he had to do something for this amazing lady. Something to make her wedding day perfect. Only he was not sure what.

Sarah closed her eyes and listened to her heart beating in her chest. Suddenly, there was that feeling again in the pit of her was the same feeing she used to get at the beginning of the mission when Chuck never stayed in the car.

Her eyes opened wide and she started to sweat. "Oh crap, this is Chuck. What is going through his head?"

10101010101

The Adorable Psycho heard the knock at the door. "Go Away! Busy here!"

The door swung open and a knife suddenly got embedded into the CD player on the bedside table.

"You're just no fun!" She stuck out her tongue and stood in the middle of the room dressed as a belly dancer, making faces at the destroyer of romantic music.

The agent side, similarly dressed, stood toe to toe with the wild side. "Give them a break tonight, lady. She needs to think, and you know what a lack of sleep does to us," and she turned to exit.

"Humph. No, I want my man all night long" AP blew a stray strand of hair out of her face . "I challenge you to a dance off - winner gets their way." And she started dancing all over the room.

"When did 'Twisted Sister' get literal,." Agent Impossible muttered as she watched her counterpart nearly bend herself in half. She stood at the door then turned back into the room. The agent never was one to walk away from a challenge.

1010110101

She dared not open her eyes.

The sounds still terrified her. She screamed into the night again.

The screams were picked up by all in the new building, and those whose life work is keeping others safe.

"Goo goo ga ga Whaaaaaaaa"

Or translated to English:

"Push it. Push it, Jeffster!

101010

John Casey smiled as he saw the lights go on not only at the Woodcomb's but at his partner's place as well. He heard the frantic running from the speakers of the high tech NSA issued listening equipment behind him only proved one thing. The bug in the Teddy bear worked and making it come through every speaker in his partner's apartment was worth the trouble it took to sew it into the baby gift.

After all, it was their mission to keep all the US citizens safe, secure and dry-bottomed.

Besides. Walker did throw him off a building.

1010101010

A/N

Again I own nothing from the Chuck tv show, but gosh darn it I do have a puppy called Casey

Hello Everyone. Thanks for the pm's. By the end of the week, I hope to have swamped my poor Beta with stories. (Jagged1 are you free?)

And then get by butt back into gear and start juggling everything again and finish the second installment of Charlies Angels.

So just a few shout outs

Armadillo - How are you doing

Greyden13 - (underarmour) can you have him send me an e-mail. Mine bounce back.

Doc in Oz - I'll be in touch at the end of the week.

Jagged1 - thanks for the beta!


	15. Chuck vs the Cat Squad

4.15

**Chuck vs the Cat Squad**

_A/N at the end of the Chapter. Warning this is a little more in the 'T' side than my usual crap._

_And without further ago… _

1010101010

Chuck looked at the two main woman in his life through the window. The fact that they were becoming close warmed his heart.

His sister and his fiancé.

The grin grew across Chuck's face. Fiancé. He was still getting used to that. It was a scary feeling considering she was a kick-butt-ninja-she-male-playboy bunny. Scary as all get out, but in a nice way.

_"Now for phase two of Mission: Sarah's perfect day." _Chuck felt the flash as it started.

101010101

Sarah watched as Ellie went to answer the sudden sound of her daughter's voice in the other room. Watching her and Devon through the open door of the nursery, the beautiful scene however did not make her pause as she sensed someone beside her, her hand went to her knife instantly.

"You better watch out Walker, before you know your next cover will be as 'Betty Crocker.'" Casey half grunted before he noticed Morgan and Alex through the window sitting on the fountain and after another small growl he went outside to get some air, by the back way Sarah wondered if it was with the possible intention of instilling the fear of Casey, Reagan and God into someone. Someone small and furry.

101010101010

Agent Impossible sat on a large overstuffed couch in a small room, surrounded with screens replaying some of the best missions that she had with the cat squad when she suddenly she found the other side filled with the Adorable Psycho dressed in a cute (and _very_ short) dress licking a large lollipop.

"Where's all the seduction missions grouchy?" The sex goddess asked her tightly leather clad counterpart, after a particularly long and expressive lick.

Shaking her head and tying her black locks up in a pony tail. "It took me two hours to clean this leather couch since it was so sticky. Take that sucker and get lost before someone has an accident."

A huge smile suddenly came to the crazy ones now dreamy face. Apparently it was time for another long lick of the lollipop.

"Humph" and AI turned got up and muttered something involving the genetically impossible ancestry of a specific blonde figment of a beautifully twisted imagination that would have involved the surgical removal of at least three lumbar vertebrae for one of the positions to be even considered remotely probable.

It took Russian, Persian and Polish to successfully intimate AI's feelings about this. She suddenly started contemplating learning Klingon. Fortunately there was this great guy she knew that might be able to help out there. A little nerdy, but that was kind of the point.

101010101010

The Intersect shook his head as he listened to the request.

Shadow then walked up to the vintage blue Police Call box that he'd first arrived in. Opening the door he reached in and grabbed a phone book (and ignoring the noise of several precariously balanced piles of books, CIA files and a printout of last week's TV guide, change their status to 'formerly precarious') and leaned up against the doorframe.

"Burton, Burton, Burton, ah here he go, Burton, Jack. Oh crap this is not good. Nope not good at all."

1010101010

Three AM and Chuck and Sarah are awoken by the sound of gunfire and blood curtailing screams coming from Casey's apartment.

With years of practice Sarah sprung out of bed: knife in hand and grabbed the first gun with was within 30 feet. She'd managed to now include a quick peck on Chuck's cheek, a hissed "Stay here!" and throw on a robe without losing any time from her previous reaction time.

"ummm Angel, put them away and come back to bed, Casey just found the surprises I placed around his house." Chuck snickered as he turned on the side lamp.

"Dare I ask what you did?" Sarah asked as Chuck watched as she replaced her weapons and slid back into bed with a hint of a smirk and dread. "_Nah, scratch the 'dread.' Just a smirk"_ Chuck decided.

Which incidentally was all she currently wore. Except for a knife sheath strapped in a dangerously easy place to reach (but Chuck had eventually learned his way around that).

Chuck made a mental note to himself. Unless he wanted to repeat an iconic scene from Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior at their wedding, must make sure Sarah used the _correct_ garter. Really must.

"I might have placed mp3 players all over Casey's apartment, all of which are programmed to play randomly Jeffsters latest original song that I paid them a case of beer to write."

"Oh you are terrible!" Sarah giggled as she laid her head back on the pillow and snuggled next to her man.

"Well then, before the soon to be smashed song 'Why Regan was Wrong' becomes a thing of the past, only to be replaced, of course, by one of the 59 ...oops i now mean 58 remaining mp3 players, maybe someone should teach me he error of my ways." Chuck asked with eye brow dance in full swing.

Sarah smiled "Well I think that can be arranged..." Sarah reached over Chuck and turned off the light, not so accidentally allowing a pair of her anatomies to gently brush (repeatedly) across him.

"... besides knowing Casey he'll be over here soon so let's give him something to walk in on to complete night. If he's so into babies crying, let's remind him how to make thummmmm..." But Sarah seemed to found something better for Chuck's lips to do.

10101010

Agent Impossible sighed, put her knives back and put in earplugs as the howls of encouragement were already coming from the Adorable Psycho.

"Gimme a 'P'. Gimme an 'L'. Gimme an 'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'…."

101010101

Shadow closed his eyes, and from the expanded (and rightly so, classified) version of the Karma Sutra (Volume III, positions E to H) stabbed his finger down on a randomly opened page. When he opened his eyes, they first went wide in shock. And then narrowed as he thought '_Ohhh, um….OK…..'_

010101010

A/N

Do I have to say it,

I don't own anything in the Chuck universe!

BIG THANK YOU to Doc in Oz for his awesome beta work. His input was greatly appricated!

I know a few of you are wondering why this has not really been updated, so let me give you the brief.

Shadow is a creation of Armadillo. When he got ill and with me being also under the weather, I just did not feel right posting until he was back on his feet again. When he passed away, I decided to write his wife after what I hope was a respectable time and Nik gave me the green light. Nik, if you are reading this, thank you.

Also Adorable Psycho is a creation of Wepdiggy. Long story very short, Since WEP didn't have it on his webpage as being listed under the AP franchise; someone strongly suggested that I might have used it without permission. Unable to find the PM where I got the OK, I sent another request. WEP being way busier than the average writer (said in my best yogi bear voice) it took a while to get a reply. The answer was another yes (thank you WEP) so I will be posting the rest of the Mind's Eye over the next couple of weeks.

Agent Impossible however is mine. A one shot in the beginning, I am having too much fun playing off the agent side against the AP side to stop.

Even though they are unaware of it, I have to thank BDaddyDL and Frea for some twitter conversations. They are probably shaking their heads saying "huh" but your timely tweets on different but related matters when I was seriously considering dumping this story made me change my mind and fight for it

One last thing, ff seems to be having reviewing problems, but please don't let that stop you from trying. I got a bunch of e-mails tonight on what I posted on Friday!

JC


	16. Chuck vs the Masquerade

4.16

**Chuck vs the Masquerade**

Morgan entered his bedroom for what he assumed was the last night. He looked around at the nearly empty space and when something caught his eye. His voice let out a small whimper. He was going to leave his half with Chuck, but for tonight he grabbed it from the closet and held it close. He rocked back and forth, tears silently falling as he tried to drift off to sleep.

1010101010

Chuck entered his bedroom and just stood there. He knew that his little buddy's mind was made up but still, with all the changes over the four years, this seems the most surreal moment of his life.

The marriage proposal wasn't even this surreal. His marriage proposal, or any of the attempts at it, hadn't been anywhere near this surreal.

He went to the closet to grab his robe. He needed a hot shower and a good night sleep. Maybe tomorrow he would wake up, Sarah next to him and the world around him will make more sense. Opening the door, he saw some of the best times of his life. Grabbing it he sat down on the floor in the closet and held the top half of the sand worm costume close like a security blanket.

10101010101

Sarah leaned back on the Castle's comfy conference chairs. She wanted to give Chuck and Morgan some time alone to work out this mess, and she used the excuse that she had a mission report to finish.

She still felt responsible for Morgan moving out. She knew that Chuck would forgive her, or more likely say that there was nothing to forgive, but she still felt the heartbreak that she had caused and that broke her heart thinking about what her better half was feeling.

She leaned back in the chair and a she stared at the ceiling. _"Wow, who would have thought that four years ago Special Agent Sarah Lisa Walker, Graham's golden girl would even be able to feel bad over somebody like Morgan Grimes. I've truly been Chucked."_

Hearing a door open and close she got up just in time to see the restricted door finish closing.

_"Hmmmmm Speaking of bad feelings..." _Sarah closed the file and replaced it in the locked cabinet and with one last look down towards the 'new' section, she rubbed her shoulders like a cold wind had given her a chill. She decided that she needed to be headed to somewhere that didn't suddenly give her the creeps.

1010101010

Casey left the new secure door and stopped and watched as it closed. After a few seconds he headed to the main control room and watched Sarah as she rubbed her shoulders as she left, just like she had a chill go up her spine."_Oh crap, what have I gotten myself into_" he thought.

He looked back towards the main part of castle where his old teams met, then shaking his head, he walked fully into the room and placed his palm on the ID scanner and watched the files as they flew across the various screens.

1010101010

The Adorable Psycho dressed in the golden angel outfit complete with fully pose-able wings – press the button, and _sproing_! Surprise! – and wearing a mask came around the corner and sporting a bow and arrow leapt into the air and shot an arrow with a heart attached into the suspended bag dressed in a nerd herd outfit. Right dead center of the 'chest'.

"Wheee, another night of bliss with my man"

Suddenly a knife flies out the nowhere and cuts the chain that holds the bag in place.

Agent Impossible rode out if out of the shadows on a beautiful white stallion and dressed in a red angel outfit; retrieved her knife from the opposite wall.

"What was that for, Lurch?" AP whined.

"That was for painting 'My stallion is better than yours' onto the side of my horse here whacko" and with she turned the horse where the words were plainly written in purple ink, complete with red hearts over the 'i's.

1010101010

Shadow consulted almost all of his books.

He then went over and examined map after map.

In frustration he waved his hand and opened a search box in mid air. Using the wrist computer he started typing frantically, discarding one result after another.

Sighing he then turned to the darken corner. There were stacks of photo albums on the desk. He sighed even deeper as he opened his blue box, entered and a second later came out with a jumbo Slurpee in each hand. Sitting down he started looking through the top album.

Hours later a dozen Snickers bar wrappers litter the desk, empty cups covered the floor and at several empty microwave popcorn bags. He slammed his Tron like hand and went over to his comfy chair and collapsed.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was really only a nanosecond of his sitting there brooding, he grabbed an X-box controller and started playing some game like a virus destroying a mainframe.

He suddenly let out a primal scream and throwing the controller across the room Shadow screamed into the emptiness "Where on earth those two put the Princess Leia action figure?"

101001010

A/N

Disclaimers: please refer to previous chapters for the complete "I own nothing, NOTHING!" speech.

Thanks to Doc in Oz for the beta work on this.

He wrote that he thought it was the saddest episode of the season, and I have to agree.

As always, please take time to review whatever you read on the site. The authors do appreciate it.

JC


	17. Chuck vs the First Bank of Evil

4x17

Chuck vs the First Bank of Evil

101010100101

Sarah walked into their apartment and threw the bags down onto the couch. She paced around counting something on her fingers. Finally she pulled out her cell phone and punched in a twenty six digit number. After a few agonizing seconds she rolled her eyes.

"Carina, Can you call me when you get a chance, I really need some advice."

Chuck entered just when Sarah was ending her phone call. Already a little freaked over what he saw outside, the crazed look on his angels' face made his blood pressure rise so suddenly he heard his heart beating in his own ears.

"Sarah, ummm you seem to be going a little psycho, adorably so, but a little, you know…"

Sarah came over and grabbed both sides of Chuck's face and gave him a gentle kiss.

'Don't worry Chuck, I've got everything under control" and she ran, actually it might have been skipped, back towards the bedroom.

Chuck however shook his head. For a second he thought he saw an image of a little Sarah in a pink bikini outfit reflected in her eye.

101010101010

Shadow was running tactical on the new information.

"Hummm, this is an unexpected turn of events. Lets see 100 dozen flowers, cake, and there was something else…"

A screen was replaying the memory that Chuck had of Sarah and Ellie in the courtyard.

"What the…" Shadow then zoomed in on the recorded image of Sarah's eyes. In one eye there was a mini Sarah in a pink bikini he'd spotted earlier, and in the other was another mini-Sarah, this one in full tactical gear.

He looked at the close up again and muttered "Huh, why are they brunettes?"

Closing the screen he started doing calculations by the dozen, until finally he lowered his head in defeat. Clearing all his calculation that were just hanging in mid air and then went over to the x-box and wrote on it "FOR SALE – ONE OWNER"

On the next line, he wrote "only fifteen thousand hours usage…." He crossed that out, and tried "sale due to marriage…." Nope that got the red marker treatment too. "Possible mind altering properties" lasted longer. In the end he stuck with his original sign.

He then looked around the room, poked his head inside the blue box. Hanging his head low in the vague yet desperate hope that there a yard sale big enough to pay for this wedding he then went into his vast library and started pulling book after book. When the stack was as high as he was, he carried them over to his desk and sat down.

"This really sucks, but I don't see any other way buddy."

And with that, he started reading One thousand perfectly legal ways to win at Blackjack( subtitled _and one hundred ways not to get caught_). The next tome was The Tony Robbins guide to complete mastery of the human race, and how to make a little money while you do so.

101010101010

Agent Impossible had several maps and screens hanging in mid air and all over tables around her. She clicked a button on her headset and spoke "OPERATION WEDDING finally into secondary mode. Commencing breakdown:"

She went over to the first floating screen:

"Location: Rome – Not enough time to get the Pope to marry us in the Vatican."

She struck that off the list

"Alternative location, Australia, good but way too many vowels. Will take forever to say "I Doooooooo" over there, but still I'll leave it on the maybe list. Note - Will need three private jets to bring people back and forth. Suggest Aussie movie 'I LOVE YOU TOO' for in-flight movie."

"Alternative location two – comicon – Yeah right. Chuck will probably get a Klingon or a Jedi master to marry us. Fat chance that will ever happen." She scratched that one off as well.

"Alternative location three – beach – nice, but no way to secure it without a satellite and I doubt Beckman will allow me to divert a satellite for a day, since we're not inviting her. So that leaves local churches."

Moving over to a table, she picked up a map.

"Possible church arrangement one, too large of an area to secure with out at least two teams of agents. Will consider smoke grenades in the flower arrangements to ease escape. Will need to put two gas masks under gown with the AK-47 and spare mags." She made some more notes and then moved down the next map.

"Church arrangements two: much more defendable, will reinforce podium in case we need it to absorb gun fire. Has advantage of three escape routes. Disadvantage, no way to protect the guests. Will see if church will allow removal of side wall and installation of lasers in statues lining walls."

Finally coming to the last one she smiled "Church arrangement number three. My favorite. Easy to defend, lots of places to put security, and this old church actually has a dungeon. The cells will take very little to fix up…"

AI's eyes went into a slit and she started swearing once again in multiple languages She grabbed the map and stormed out of her room and kicked down the door of her roommate across the brains hemisphere.

1010101

The Adorable Psycho got out of the tanning bed and went over to the stuffed nerd hanging beside her bed, grabbed two cans and started singing to it.

"I love you, with bobbies whipped cream blasting" And with that she held the cans of whip cream up and started spraying them around the room.

That's when the door got kicked open and she suddenly had a whip-creamed map shoved in her face.

"WHAT THE FRACK DID YOU DO TO MY MISSION MAP?" AI screamed in Polish.

"What's your problem little miss stick in the mud, I just put the fun back into the wedding?" the Adorable psycho then shot some whipped cream into her mouth.

Counting to ten, she scraped off some more cream and pointed to a something on the map "What is this in the middle of the church?"

"Ok silly, that's the king size bed. As soon as the I DO's are said, we will get right to business."

"ARE YOU NUTS? AND WHAT ARE THESE THINGS ALONG THE SIDE" AI's shouted in disbelief.

AP shrugged "Cameras, We are going live on the internet. is going to be my 24 hour a day pay per plow site. Don't worry I have projectors up all over the church for the guests to see free of charge." PSYCHO started bouncing in anticipation 'We even have a theme song" and grabbing the oversized lollipop as a microphone she started singing "Whatever manufactured image a nerd is into, I'll be your GIRL, YOUR GIRL.."

"OH CRAP, STOP THAT! Listen that's where my machine gun mounts are going to go."

"Hey…" AP jumped up and pointed to two parts of her anatomy "These shoot sparks too!" She started swaying back and forth with a very psycho look on her face, even for her.

"Dare I ask what you did to my detention cells?" AI was going to collapse into a near by chair before thinking better of it.

Pouting and taking a small lick of her mic, she pointed to the first object "Those in red are the cameras; the blue thing is the swing, ohhhh the swing…" AP suddenly sighs and her eyes glazes over as she is totally lost in thought as she licks her lollipop, she doesn't even notice the door being kicked off the hinges as she her bestest roomie departs.

"Humph, _someone_ needs a good plowing." Psycho then walked over to the corner of the room that had been made over into a beach scene, complete with her life size nerd sitting in a beach chair.

"OK girls listen up, take twelve!" She said to another Psycho dressed as a robot holding a video camera (it should be noted that she came complete with rubber and metal spikes, and a small sticker on her privates stating "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with"). Another heavy metal psycho walked between them with a board and said "Yeah, whatever" and she clapped, puked, then threw the board on the floor and promptly passed out.

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A/N

Usual disclaimers apply.

A bit longer than normal. I got carried away a bit on the AI and AP. But what the crap!

Thanks to Doc in Oz for the beta (Sorry about the video, by the way, it will eventually cause you to sing it nonstop!)

As usual, please consider reviewing everything you read here on the site.


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